Can Men and Women be Friends?

A friend is defined in the Oxford American Dictionary (2^nd edition) as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, exclusive of sexual or family relationships.” This definition says nothing about gender whatsoever. Many people still believe that it is impossible for people of different genders to be friends, because there is no way for their relationship to exclude sexual relations. In the past the role of women was simply for housework and sex, however “the world has changed and social roles have changed and are continuing to change for males and females” (Schwartz par 7). Men and women are now equal on all levels, therefore there is no hidden idea that all females are for is sex. Now, males view females as their equivalents and it is easy for many friendships to be formed. “For instance, women are now a major force in the work place, so men and women have many more opportunities to meet and interact today as compared to thirty years ago. Women are now in the professions as psychologists, medical doctors, lawyers, and business leaders” (Schwartz par 7). Friendships between people of opposite genders are definitely possibilities and are becoming even easier as society evolves.

Throughout my life, I have had many male friends (just friends), and although I do not have the experience of an adult, I have witnessed many friendships between adults of opposite genders. Some people however, tend to have the impression that any friendship between two people of opposite genders no matter what the age is must have some sort of sexual relation as well. These individuals must be immature and unable to control themselves. Women and men have the same rights, the same ability to think for themselves, and the same need for loyal friends- so why can they not share a friendship? They can. Every day I go to school and watch teenagers talk in the hallways to people of all genders- not each multi-gender relationship involving sexual tension. I also watch teachers as they interact with one another. Many of my teachers are very close with their colleagues and whether they are married or not they tend to be friends with other teachers of the opposite gender. This proves that in the work place and in social settings, males and females can have a strictly friend relationship.

As a girl, I thoroughly enjoy the company of a male. I find that it is very easy to get along with males and I like having them as friends. Although these are stereotypes I do find many of my male friends to be less judgmental and less tense than many of my female friends. However, this does not mean that I am sexually attracted to any of my male friends. It is very possible that two people of the opposite gender simply like spending time together. In the past, there was a general idea of the role of females in society. This definitely brainwashed many people to think things like- “the traditional role of the woman is to be passive, allowing the male to pay the bill and lead the way, male female friends cannot hug because at some point this will lead to more, when in a marriage by befriending someone from the opposite sex jealousy, suspicion and doubt are liable to infect the marriage” (Schwartz par 3). In 2009, the general idea of females is different. Many women share the financial responsibility in relationships, male-female friendships are not unusual, and many married individuals have friends from the opposite gender, especially those they meet at work. “On every level and in every way, women are the equal of men both in the work place and at home,” which makes friendship easily obtainable and easily maintained (Schwartz par 7).

Yes, others may make jokes surrounding the friendship of two people from opposite genders, however they are simply referring to ideas from past generations. Today, it is easy for people from different genders to form a relationship that excludes sexual feelings- a friendship. The two genders are equal on every level, making it even more possible for a friendship to be created. 

Works Cited

“Can Men and Women Be Friends?” MentalHelp.net. 5 Feb. 2007.  16 Feb.2009 http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_index.php?idx=119&d=1&w=5&e=161