Monday, February 16, 2009

Can Men and Women be Friends?


A friend is defined in the Oxford American Dictionary (2nd edition) as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, exclusive of sexual or family relationships.” This definition says nothing about gender whatsoever. Many people still believe that it is impossible for people of different genders to be friends, because there is no way for their relationship to exclude sexual relations. In the past the role of women was simply for housework and sex, however “the world has changed and social roles have changed and are continuing to change for males and females” (Schwartz par 7). Men and women are now equal on all levels, therefore there is no hidden idea that all females are for is sex. Now, males view females as their equivalents and it is easy for many friendships to be formed. “For instance, women are now a major force in the work place, so men and women have many more opportunities to meet and interact today as compared to thirty years ago. Women are now in the professions as psychologists, medical doctors, lawyers, and business leaders” (Schwartz par 7). Friendships between people of opposite genders are definitely possibilities and are becoming even easier as society evolves.

Throughout my life, I have had many male friends (just friends), and although I do not have the experience of an adult, I have witnessed many friendships between adults of opposite genders. Some people however, tend to have the impression that any friendship between two people of opposite genders no matter what the age is must have some sort of sexual relation as well. These individuals must be immature and unable to control themselves. Women and men have the same rights, the same ability to think for themselves, and the same need for loyal friends- so why can they not share a friendship? They can. Every day I go to school and watch teenagers talk in the hallways to people of all genders- not each multi-gender relationship involving sexual tension. I also watch teachers as they interact with one another. Many of my teachers are very close with their colleagues and whether they are married or not they tend to be friends with other teachers of the opposite gender. This proves that in the work place and in social settings, males and females can have a strictly friend relationship.

As a girl, I thoroughly enjoy the company of a male. I find that it is very easy to get along with males and I like having them as friends. Although these are stereotypes I do find many of my male friends to be less judgmental and less tense than many of my female friends. However, this does not mean that I am sexually attracted to any of my male friends. It is very possible that two people of the opposite gender simply like spending time together. In the past, there was a general idea of the role of females in society. This definitely brainwashed many people to think things like- “the traditional role of the woman is to be passive, allowing the male to pay the bill and lead the way, male female friends cannot hug because at some point this will lead to more, when in a marriage by befriending someone from the opposite sex jealousy, suspicion and doubt are liable to infect the marriage” (Schwartz par 3). In 2009, the general idea of females is different. Many women share the financial responsibility in relationships, male-female friendships are not unusual, and many married individuals have friends from the opposite gender, especially those they meet at work. “On every level and in every way, women are the equal of men both in the work place and at home,” which makes friendship easily obtainable and easily maintained (Schwartz par 7).

Yes, others may make jokes surrounding the friendship of two people from opposite genders, however they are simply referring to ideas from past generations. Today, it is easy for people from different genders to form a relationship that excludes sexual feelings- a friendship. The two genders are equal on every level, making it even more possible for a friendship to be created. 



Works Cited

“Can Men and Women Be Friends?” MentalHelp.net. 5 Feb. 2007.  16 Feb.2009 http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_index.php?idx=119&d=1&w=5&e=161

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Questions for the Socratic Seminar Thursday

The Story of X

Why do you think X was the child that scored the best on the test he was given?

Would you ever make your child an X?

What do you think the most serious implications are to this experiment?

What do you think is the hardest for X to deal with?

 

Trifles

Who do you think is guilty for the murder, why?

Why do you think the women are hiding the dead bird? Do you think this says something about the female gender?

 

When Harry met Sally

Do you agree with Harry, can men and women be just friends?

What type of stereotypes does this movie show about both genders? 

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Being a member of my family

There are always rules to abide by, but what about the unwritten rules- the ones you have to follow to fit into the group of people you are with? In my family, there is a specific way to act and specific things to love. No matter what group you discuss whether it be a religion, a type of music, or a gender, there are always guide lines you must fit into. Sometimes, you fit the mold naturally, but other times it is difficult and the individual must shape themselves in order to fit the mold society has made for them. I love being a part of my family and I wanted to discuss some of the little things that make us, us. Think about all the different groups you are in and what makes you fit so perfectly into this group!
This poem is based off the poem 'Girl' by Jamaica Kincaid. 




My Family 

Take as many leadership positions as possible even if they are overwhelming you; be a good Jew, a perfect student, and always loving and smiley; never yell at anyone; enjoy nice restaurants and have a need to eat all the time; love being Jewish and work hard in order to allow the Jewish community to blossom, because you know you want it there for your children and your children’s children; visit Israel as much as possible, we are lucky it is there; don’t walk around sloppy and messy dress like a lady and act like one too; love your family especially your sisters because they will be there for you for your entire life; burp at the dinner table if you are home but not if you are out (except if your at a pizza place); be open about every aspect of your life to everyone; this is how you cuddle with your mom while watching TV on Sunday night, but don’t get used to it, it’s only for Sunday nights; this is how you sing Disney channel songs really loudly whether you are twenty one or twelve, you do like Hannah Montana right?; enjoy Hannah Montana and every Broadway musical; this is how you smile respectfully at the hundreds of family members that you actually don’t know by name; this is how you pretend to know them by name when they come up to you and tell you how good it is to see you; this is how you pretend you like the gift your grandma got for you no matter how bizarre it is, but don’t worry you will eventually return it; this is how you walk the dog, be careful she is heavier than you and will pull you all the way up the hill and back down; this is how you steal clothes from your sisters closet while they are asleep, she will not actually care; this is how you help cook for holiday meals; this is how you s

hop at a high speed so you don’t waste any time, you will always be busy; love your family especially your sisters because they will be there for you for your entire life; this is how you help your dad fix the computer, which in his terms is the machine, when he clogs the printer; be loyal to every sport team you decide to support whether they are terrible or world champions; this is how you obsess over things such as camp because they made your life better, you hang pictures all over the house and talk only about that; this is how you stay loyal to businesses, you are to only get gas at one gas station even if it is forty minutes away; this is how you laugh at the movie “How to lose a guy in ten days” and quote it as often as possible; love your family especially your sisters because they will be there for you for your entire life; this is how you eat as much chicken as possible because that is what is for dinner most nights; this is how you sneak junk food even if you are on a diet; this is how you do bouncy bounce at night, especially if someone is sleeping over; this is how you cheat in scrabble, but everyone else is cheating too so you won’t win; always love your sisters; but what if you get in a fight with them?

; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of person that gets into fights with their family?

 

 

 

 






Check out the related links (blogs) below- the first two links discuss the issue of different rules creating barriers between genders, the next three link to other blogs that discuss different groups they are in and the rules they must abide by! 

 

Gender Related Blogs